Down with hopelessness..........or am I ???

It has been a rough past few weeks nothing seems to be going right (to shed light on the subject..........it has been placement season and I belonging to the self proclaimed elitist group of ECE engineers with a decent academic background and more than average communication skills hoped to get lapped up by this point in time...), while everybody I know has had something astonishingly marvelous happening to them (I am not exaggerating.....by marvelous I mean getting a seat in the top most colleges in the country and abroad, some getting into companies at the top of the Industry with packages close to 7 figures!!) people from all the other branches who were masquerading around as engineers in groups perpetually high on fun and laughter have been placed in top firms with average packages higher than what most ECE guys have had a shot at....... Well we can say I have been congratulating people a lot and so far have warranted none.

My parents and friends seem concerned, I have been asked to take it easy, calm down and not get tensed, now and again people come up with cliched phrases like "everything happens for a reason" and "there are better things in store for you"........ At a time when being me and being happy or just not unhappy seems to be almost immoral, while most of my branch-mates who are in similar plight seem distraught,angry....depressed, I feel disconnected, I don't mean to say I am not angry or sad.......I am no hermit but I don't feel them as often as I should, maybe its because I have had this kind of feeling in the past......well u do feel helpless when some decision you had taken or something you had done in the past comes back to bite you on your ass, but there is nothing you can do about it. All I know is I am definitely not happy but saying I am depressed seems to be stretching it too far.

I think everything is preplanned and there is very little we can do to change things, of- course that doesn't mean we do not try. I guess we just have to go through life and hope to strike a good patch some time soon......... if at all, meanwhile all we can do is try to enjoy the process whenever we can......all of this sounds really philosophical, but then philosophy has its roots in real life experiences........ah I have now understood why I am supposed to get wiser as I grow older (dekho to kitna gyaan jhada hua hai yahan :p).

Well I hope this disconnection,blankness or what ever it is leads to anger or ignites the long lost fire and dedication to study harder and try harder to get that all elusive success.......

P.S Adnan sami's song comes to mind here kaise kaiso ko diya hai aise waiso ko diya hai..........mujhko bhi to lift karade................. very cheesey to say the least :P

The week that was...

 A hurried and sweaty dash to transfer everything from my room into the cloak room.

A long wait for the bus to Goa.......sitting on a pavement on the road-side chatting with friends........ringing up the bus conductor to inform him about the latest kannada abuses added to our vocabulary waiting there on the kerb for him.....this was how I spent the last few hours in manipal........

A back breaking bus journey ........from Manipal to Goa with my friend trying to head-butt me into a coma in his sleep cheered on by the humming and snoring of my fellow passengers, I counted my hours to freedom from my cramped space in hell.......

A maddening 8hour long wait in a confined area at the Goa Airport ......The CISF guys tell us that we could enter the airport only 2hrs prior to departure, to that we promptly responded with some very persistent begging and pair pakdoing to win ourselves seats in an abandoned visitors lounge just inside the airport under the supervision of the CISF.

An elderly couples first flight ...........watching them hold hands in prayer during take off and landing, looking at their innocent excitement at the sight of clouds and land far below ..........fiddling around with the seat belts in their seats beside me, the couple made me jealous instilling a yearning in me to feel that same childish excitement and pleasure in something as simple as a maiden plane journey....

A week in Mumbai with my sister and bro-in-law ..........It feels great to be pampered and cared......Looking at them plan and discuss  to make every moment of my stay enjoyable was heart warming to say the least.....the week flew by, watching movies (chashma lagake!!), eating 4.5 pound crabs, going on drives,chatting........

A train journey back home to Hyderabad ............A journey filled with ubiquitous wails of small children, shrieking vendors (who are in their way determined to make you eat) ........an old fat friendly looking man with a permanent smile pasted on his face describing his European trip to his son in a loud cheerful voice......a childishly irritable woman's complains against unclean sheets, food, speed of the train, the government, Baba Ramdev......and Band Baaja Baarat on my laptop kept me entertained for the entire 16 hours it took me to reach home :)


 

Change

I wished of wearing trousers instead of shorts, using pens instead of pencils and  driving cars and bikes like the grown ups!!, I can remember myself asking my father when I would get to attend school ........

Oh how I would beat up my younger self now for doing and wishing those things. I couldn't wait to grow up drink tea do grown up stuff !! but I now realize I never really grew up not really in the actual sense of the word at least,life seems to have imposed most of the growing. Not that I am a very old man lying on my death bed but looking back 21 years there have been distinct stages where circumstances have demanded sudden and rapid growth ( i mean maturity,mental strength) I see distinctly different versions of myself never really blending into each other they stand wide apart without any transitional phase in between.

Life now has brought me to another such point which demands massive changes or growth as  I have been calling it so far, I can already see myself changing,.metamorphosing into the next version of me. A part of me is sad that the college life and with it the freedom and chill maaroing life I had is coming to an end, but at the same time I think somewhere in me the kid who wanted to grow up drive cars n wear trousers is happy and keenly waiting....welcoming the new me, because if it were not for these changes life would just be a mundane exercise.

I am freeeeee!!!

                                                    
"Today is friday, it is my day to do what i want Mama can tell me that i'm goin nowhere, i'm just a prisoner of my fate Would you come along, bring me in Would you come along, bring me in Bring me in Today if friday, it is my day to disappear To kings and queens and make-believe and the demons in my head Would you come along, bring me in Would you come along, bring me in Bring me in........" Goldspot

Lovely song by Goldspot aptly describes the mood I am in it is friday and I am finally free.
Exams are done and my worst and most torturous semester so far comes to an end. All the packing has been done and now I'm on my way back home.

Rakht charitra

                                                                                            
Browsing through my movies folder I found Rakht Charitra a movie by Ram Gopal Varma (of Ram Gopla Varma ki AAG fame) with Vivek Oberoi (who was last seen running and jumping around in tight fitting leather  costumes with scantily clothed women throwing themselves at him) in the lead this made me certain that this was going to be another one where I would have half my brain cells dead by the end, however with no imminent requirement of brain cells in near future I decided to watch it.

Surprisingly Rakht Charitra turned out to be the best Hindi movie I have watched this year with strong performances by Vivek Oberoi and  Abhimanyu Singh( the guy who plays Bukka Reddy) with all the other actors in the movie giving very good supporting performances. The only flaw was RGV's narration, I don't understand why did he have to narrate while he has Bachchans at his beck and call (or was Vivek Oberoi being the lead a problem for Bachchans) anyway the movie was very bold, depicting the dark side of Indian politics and the bureaucratic system (which has no place for the pious and hardworking) entailing some violent scenes in the process.

With this movie RGV and Vivek Oberoi have successfully affirmed their moronity, when each of them can produce such movies(RGV's Satya,Sarkaar,Shiva come to mind)  n performances(Vivek's Company,Shoot out) intermittently why aren't they more prudent, I guess Vivek Oberoi should be stereotyped as a gunda or Gangster becoz he can pull those roles of really well.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and am looking forward to its sequel.

                                                                       

Ayodhya,commonwealth,cricket and exams

                                                                        

A posh looking new foot over bridge,the false roof of a stadium.......India's self esteem and credibility all going down rapidly in a pile of rubble has become common knowledge, every Indian who could hear, read or see and was not crazy enough to confuse shit smeared toilets with peculiarly shaped chocolate fountains, believed with utmost conviction that the common wealth games would go down the drain .Bestselling author of books on student life,call center life etc (all cheaper than a Jockey ka chaddi) asking people to boycott the games to show our rejection of the games, top athletes pulling out and with constant media criticism reaffirmed this belief over and over again...................

Ayodhya, a religious place pulled into court rooms, discussion forums, debate competitions  by  violent and sacrilegious crimes committed years ago leading to years of tension and creating a juicy source for politicians to play vote bank politics,however a committee set up (before the era of ipads,iphones,xboxes,rising Asian economies) after spending 8crores and 18 years finally came to a decision this week.........

A month long of negligence, chatting in class , watching movies, gaming  combined with a string of bunks  had resulted in  large blank spaces in concepts required to understand the portion for the exam.A week back the books were dug out and dusted clean, notes were borrowed and photocopied, empty coffee cups laid strewn about  and the table had turned into a war zone ......................The dreaded 2nd sessionals had come (dreaded becoz this generally contains the most vicious q papers of the 3 sessionals we have each sem).

India had dominated the entire test match right up till the last day where Aussies as usual  crawled their way back in and the Indian team was chocking, batsmen failing again right when they were needed to finish things off..............

..........................................................................................................................................................

A 70 crore helium filled aerostat measuring  40 metresX80 metresX12 metres (world's largest) soared 25mtrs above the ground ,a 500 ton stage enough to hold 500 people,1,200 moving lights, 120 space cannons and 16 follow spots 25 stacks of speakers producing 500,000 Watts of sound and a cheering crowd of 60,000 humans filled the stadium. The ceremony successfully showcased India's culture, beauty, traditions, art using state of the art equipment the music,light and the cheering crowd all blend in together to showcase  the arrival of a new economically, culturally and socially strong India.The opening ceremony was a big hit!! and so have been the Indian athletes who have been piling on the medals,breaking records (though the same cannot be said about the games and politicians, the organisers)

The court had given its verdict and India accepted it peacefully gracefully with not a single incident of violence,hate speech,rallies and all nonsense that is generally associated with such an event. I don't know whether the decision is right or wrong nor do I care. The manner in which the decision was accepted was more important  than the decision itself. I don't care where exactly in Ayodhya was one of our gods born or how big a temple or mosque or church is to be built there ,when more important issues like poverty, crime, recession,terrorism, global warming, my sessional, release date of the next episode of House ,should i put the fan on 4 or 5 concern  the world .As I see it India as a country has won the case showing great maturity and tolerance, at least for now till some greedy politicians brain wash some ignorant jobless people into fighting each other again .

VVS laxman, Ishant sharma fought back and we won the game.Dhoni and co escaped by the skin of their teeth, Laxman had once again done it against the Aussies and cricket had once again screwd up my exam.

As for the sessionals, I opened the exams emphatically .Doing well in the very first exam lifted up my spirits driving me to work harder but unfortunately unlike the other issues above the harder I worked the tougher the paper got and I finally got screwd.

However finally the exams are done and those sadistic,balding, pot bellied middle aged men have had their fun with us.and now I'm back to movies,gaming, sleeping ...............

Blogomania!!

                                  

Found this directory of blogs today. It is a great effort by a guy named Amit Agarwal, here you get a list of all the top Indian blogs, enjoy!!

BEST INDIAN BLOGS